sucks to have her back in his life.

the test of time*

GIRLFRIEND

because it's LOVE...

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;

love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly;

it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails...But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13

Love is patient,
True love is unconditional, that is, it does not depend on the attributes or lack thereof of the person loved, therefore, it is willing to give as much time necessary, and as much space as necessary for that person to grow.

love is kind and is not jealous;
Love seeks to give others something of benefit for their welfare, and consequently, rejoices when they do benefit.

love does not brag and is not arrogant,
To lift one's self up in reference to others leaves no room for unconditional, graceful love.

does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own,
To act inappropriately, shamefully (morally, especially in the area of sexual purity) is not in accordance with true love. Love never seeks it's own gratificaiton but rather the interests of others.

is not provoked,
Selfishness seeks to manipulate others by stimulating certain selfish emotions. Love will not do this to others, nor will it let it happen to itself.

does not take into account a wrong suffered,
Forgivenss. Let it go. Bitterness is the acid. You are the container. Get rid of it or it will kill you.

does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
Love does not somehow gloss over things that are going to be hurtful. True love originates from the truth.

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
If love really is unconditional, it will hold any weight, face any doubt, persist through hopelessness, and last any trial

Love never fails...
If it did, would it be love?

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Someday, faith will not be needed, for we will see God. Hope will not be needed, for when everything is fulfilled, there is no need for hope. But love, yes, to it there will be no end. If it did, it wouldn't be love.

hAwAk KaMaY... *

Paano ba natin masusukat yung pagmamahal ng tao?

Next question please?! ^-^

Hindi… seryoso. Paano nga ba?
Would it be the number of text messages sent and replied to in a day? Or the number of pictures the two of you have? Or the number of years, months, weeks, days, hours and or minutes you’ve spent together? The trials and challenges you’ve surpassed? How he/ she ran after you just when you turned your back? The sweetness he or she has shown you? the effort? The foods he or she have cooked for you? the sleepless nights he or she have spent crying because you had a big fight?

How?

Pretty tough huh?!

Personally, hindi ko din talaga alam eh. Ako, tingin ko, hindi yun sa material things na naibigay nyo sa isa’t isa. Hindi rin naman sa tinagal ng relasyon. Yung iba nga jan umaabot ng four, five, six years? Tapos, pagkatapos ng napakaraming pagsubok, pag aaway, pagtataboy sa isa’t isa, paghahabol, paglalambingan at dami ng promises na sa isa’t isa, naghihiwalay pa din sa huli, diba?

Madalas, naaalala ko si Mitch (friend ko for few years now, magkasama kames a condo when I was in college), pag picture moments. She had this boyfriend na three or four years na sila pero believe it or not, they have very few pictures taken together. She believes, and used to tell me, pangit daw yung nagpapapicture kayo together kasi maghihiwalay daw. Funny I know, at hindi ko alam kung saan nya nakuha yun, (peace mitchy!) pero ngayon na adopt ko na sya. Though I don’t believe it, really, but when I and my someone special are being asked to strike a pose and shine that smile to the camera, I personally refuse too. When askd why, I would reply: “pangit daw magpapicture ng magkasama kasi maghihiwalay…” (sabay isip, anong logic?! hehe)

Tingin ko din, ang pagmamahal, hindi naman kelangan araw araw sabihin. Minsan it is better to show and demonstrate it, diba? Trust and respect the person you love--- that should be enough.

Sabi ko nga, wag na wag lang akong mumurahin o sasaktan physically and intentionally, kahit gaano kalaki yung maging problema, we can always compromise and talk about it over. Walang hindi nadadaan sa maboteng usapan… I mean, sa mabuti at malumanay na pag uusap. Guess I am right?!

Sa dami ng heartaches, shocking revelations, moments of silence, lies and truth, ano pa bang hindi ko kinayang harapin at tanggapin? Oo siguro nga hindi ko pa fully accepted ang mga nangyari at mga pangyayari pero sabi nga ng kanta ni Yeng Constantino: “hawak kamay di kita iiwanan sa paglalakbay ditto sa mundong walang katiyakan”, hindi ko alam talaga if my lyrics were right? Pero, yung message ng song yung pinopoint out ko. Basta ang alam ko, hindi nyo kelangan araw araw na magkita at magkasama, basta alam mo at secured ka, sapat nay un, dahil at the end of the day, alam mo sa sarili mo na nagmamahal ka at minamahal ka ng taong yun. Diba?!

I am bitter. Sabi ko nga sa previous entry ko, I could also get hurt. Tao lang ako. I am not perfect. ang dami kong hang ups. Ang dami kong problema. Minsan, hindi ko alam kung pano pa ko haharap sa mga yun. Kinakaya ko lang dahil alam ko, hindi nya ko pinapabayaan. Kung sino man sya. Alam ko din andyan ang family ko. Ang dami kong friends. Mas malaki pa din ang problema ng Pilipinas kesa sa problema ko. Totoo naman yun diba?

My heart is too fragile. I bet you know that. I am vulnerable. Don’t make me too frail. I know how you’ve been trying. With all the odds and consequences, we’ll make it thru. Promise me one thing, hold my hand and don’t let me go and slip away…

REALITY CHECK... normal pa 'ko... =D

“The only constant in this world is change” --- very common to hear but it makes sense. Just few minutes ago, a friend sent this to me thru text. Yes, I know it. I believe him. in the first place, we cannot change what was written in our life’s book. That was made by God. And sometimes, as much as we want something to be permanent in our life, like a relationship or something to keep for the rest of our life we just couldn’t because it was not really meant to be for us but was just lend to us by God. Sabi nga nila, “God won’t give us a trial if He knows we can’t surpass it”. Oh God. He is so powerful and we can never do anything against His will. I know, trial makes us stronger and we learn a lot from it.

When we are faced in two choices, from a quote that my cousin sent me it says: “toss a coin. While the coin is in the air, you would definitely know what you want to do, not because of what comes out of the coin, head or tail, but because while the coin is in the air, you’ll surely wish anywhere between the choices you have”. And it really makes sense!

A quote from BOB ONG: “kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa dahil hindi ka magmamahal ng isa pa kung talagang mahal mo yung nauna”. ---- this one, I don’t know if I should believe it or not?! But what if, nagustuhan mo yung pangalawa dahil meron sya na wala sa una? Pano kung hindi lang dalawa kung hindi tatlo pala? Ibig sabihin ba nun, piliin mo yung pangatlo at iwan mo yung una at pangalawa? Pano kung iniwan mo na yung una? Dalawa na lang yung natira obviously. Pero pano kung hindi mo kaya iwan yung una pero sabi ng iba mas okay yung pangalawa?! Ang gulo. Pero para sakin, ganito lang kasimple yun, ang tao, pwede magmahal ng kahit gano karaming gustuhin niya, pero kahit kelan hindi magkakaroon ng comparison yung way ng pagmamahal nya sa isa laban sa isa [tagalong na tagalong yun, at nasabi ko ng deretso! Yehey!!!]

Ayun, may sense ba yun?

When I was in highschool, that was the time when nauso yung text sa mobile phone, right?! And a friend sent me this quote: MOST REATIONSHIP FAILS NOT BECAUSE OF THE ABSENCE OF LOVE. LOVE IS ALWAYS PRESENT. IT JUST SO HAPPENED THAT THE OTHER IS TOO LITTLE AND THE OTHER IS TOO MUCH. [oo, sa maniwala kayo’t sa hindi ganon katibay ang memory ‘ko]
---that makes sense. Lahat ng sobra masama ganon din lahat ng kulang. Dapat tama lang and if you want to share it with someone dapat pantay--- patas! [prang hating magkapatid, walang gulangan]

Actually, for whatever I have now, hindi ko alam kung anong quote ang bagay sakin eh. Malabo. Per friendster pa nga “it’s complicated”. Sabi pa ni Avril Lavigne: “why you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you’re acting like you’re somebody else makes me frustrated!” ---ayun o, FRUSTRATED daw… huh?!

Grabe! LOVE makes the world go round… gaano katotoo yun?! May nagsend pa sakin ng quote na “LOVE is when you’re heart beats faster blah blah tpos sa huli may nakalagay--- LOVE pala yun akala ko lasing lang!” ---tsk tsk…

I’ve been in a long relationship and it ended last Dec.’07. I never whined or cried about it. Gusto ko lang sabihin, minsan na ‘kong naagawan, umiyak at tumahan nang wala akong nagawa. Pikit mata kong tinanggap na minsan, ang lalake, kahit gaano mo sya inintindi at minahal, hindi pa rin yun magiging sapat para ikaw ang piliin niya. Kung ano man yung mga bagay na naisip nya and he used into considerations para piliin yung isa, hindi ko din alam at hindi ko na inalam. Masakit na malaman na yung boyfriend mo sa mahabang panahon, niloko ka, niloloko ka at pinapaniwala sa mga kasinungalingan ng paulit ulit. Been there and experienced that stuff. Pero, oo, may better na kapalit. When we decided to move on and part ways last Dec.’07, I met someone, same month. Nung una, tamang pakilig lang. nakakatuwa sya. Mabait, makulit at mahilig magjoke! Araw araw ko siya nakikita. Hanggang naging okay kame, gabi gabi pagkatapos ng work ko, nagkikita kame, tambay mode. Tawanan, asaran at kwentuhan. I developed special feelings for him. I am happy that this person came into my life and put color into it. The past relationship I had before I met this someone last Dec’07, lasted for three years and eight mos. to be exact. For me it was long. But I got tired of understanding him, accepting his alibis and believing on his lies. I admit, I wasn’t a perfect girlfriend and I admit I had a lot of shortcomings too. So let us not put all the blame into him. And now, let us go back to this someone.

One year is way shorter than almost four years but on that one year, we never fought and had a big trouble between ‘us’. I learned to grow, be mature and think not just for myself but for others. I became selfless. The brat that I once was is gone. Now, I am more patient, understanding and loving.

There is no such thing as perfect relationship, obvious ba. Lagi ko sinsabi yan. Sa dinami dami ng mga nakita kong failed relationships, sinong magsasabi na tanga ako sa pinili kong relasyon ngayon? Actually sa totoo, madami na. oo, almost all of my friends are against it. Not really pala. They support me all the way. They’ve seen me breaking down, crying my heart out and sober.

Mahirap mapunta sa kumplikadong relasyon. Bakit ka nyo? Naman, hindi ba obvious? Madalas iiyak ka. Oo, I know, I couldn’t be happier when we’re together. He gave me all the happiness I could experience. And fact is, I know my parents like him.

Minsan hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dapat. Alam ko kung ano ang tama. Pero mahirap kasi to decide when alam mo sa sarili mo that if you’ll do the right thing, hindi ka magiging masaya.

Honestly, I take no pleasure when I know in my heart that someone is hurting because of my existence. I may be mean but I am not evil. I may seem maldita, which I know I really am, but I was brought up guided by my parents well and came from a good and loving family. People may think of me as the happy-go-lucky girl, at some point I am, but I know, matino pa ung pagiisip ko and alam ko pa naman yung ginagawa ko…

Whatever it is that I really want to say on this entry, alam ko sa sarili ko I’m just loving. I am hurting, tao lang din ako, hindi perfect. hindi ako ma pride. Hindi ako mahilig sa gulo. Gusto ko lang naman maging masaya. Masama bay yun???

Sa lahat ng nasaktan at nasasaktan ko, sorry. Hindi ko sinasadya. I am not selfish. One thing is I am sure about, ni minsan, hindi ako nang agaw, hindi ako nang aagaw at hindi ako mang aagaw. I know how it feels to be betrayed by the person whom you loved the most and I believe in karma.

Now, as I write this entry, I know in my heart what I want really. I love. I care. I love my choice.

Nobody said this is going to be easy, but I believe in my heart that God won’t put me in this situation if it will lead me to nothing. There may be a lot of trials and rough roads but at the end of time, I know, everything’s going to be alright. =D

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

CHRISTMAS is over and we're looking forward to a new and prosperous year. Let's all leave the memories of unfortunate events of this year and move on and make everything good and happy on the upcoming year!

I wish and pray that all of us, my family, friends, and that someone would have a good year ahead as we enter 2009!

Let's thank GOD for all the wonderful blessings and thank Him for the challenges we encountered and managed to go thru from this year, 2008!

Let's not forget that everything happens for a reason and purpose!

Whatever happened this year, fortunate, good, happy, bad, sad or still doesn't have a label, I am thankful for everything. To all the people that touched my heart and life, thank you and I appreciate everything especially those times when you never left me at the time I needed you most. Thank you for loving the imperfect side of me and for accepting me for who I am and what I became!

For someone who came into my life just before I welcomed the year 2008, thank you for staying and keeping everything the way it is... I am so happy and excited to welcome 2009, knowing you're still with me and it has been a year since we met! This year might have not been a perfect year, but knowing that the book isn't over makes me feel so good! We might have gone thru a lot of disappointments and misunderstandings, but you'll always have me and as how the song goes.... "I'm yours" ^.^ I appreciate your existence in my life! You make it imperfectly perfect!

To my FRIEND OF THE YEAR awardees:
-Dbyne
-Debz
-Jaja
-Oui
-Zai

-----> Thank you oh so much!!!! I love you so much sisters!!! ^.^ thanks for being with me and loving me for everything at! sa hindi nio pagsasawang makinig ng mga "mali" na pangyayari... tuloi tuloi na maboboteng usapan! tuloi tuloi na kalukringan! tuloi tuloi na aplaya, salts and spirit, at walang humpay na trif! ^.^ sobrang mahal ko kaio! pano na si bibit pag nawala pa keio?! hihi... yikes! drama marathon ko toh.
.debz, moment ko toh! hehe ^.^
.babygirl, dbyne, salamat sobra! dahil sa kalukringan mo, nahawa na ko, hehe at kahit sa tearjerking moments ko, lagi mo ko napapatawa at napapasaya!
.jaja, we may have had a bad experience from the past but despite of everything, you're now my brother, and that ahole that made us enemies way back won't matter with the friendship we've built. im glad to have you bro! Aja! ^.^
.oui, pare, chong, dude, tol, 7yrs na tyong loko loko, magbagong buhay na tyo ngyong '09! hahaha... pero salamat pare! sa lahat ng ngyri, nawitness mo pano ko naging masaya, nagbreakdown, at naging masaya ulit! shot shot! hehe
.zai, mare, thank you sa pagiging baliw mo. dahil sa kabaklaan mo mare, bakla na din ako ngyon! sana maging masaya ka na din. mahanap mo na sya and remember, mr. right might not be mr. perfect.

love you mga kapatid ko!

To my family, the most important people in my life, sorry for all the times i might have disappointed you and made you felt unimportant. You gave me everything and i have nothing more to ask for from you. I know, you're the only constant in my life and if there's one thing I am very thankful and proud of is that I belong to this BIG, happy and loving family!!!


sa lahat ng kadramahang sinabi ko, gusto ko lang talaga bumati ng:

HAPPY HOLIDAYS everyone!!!



*babylablab*

mc home***

they might believe in your lies but i don't..
i might not knoe the 100% truth but bet i knoe 95% of it.
i can tell when you're lying again and when what you're saying is real...
they might even think i believe them when they make up stories to cover up your lies, but i don't...
for i've been watching everything. for i've been listening from every word uttered.
i knoe the truth... even what you're doing and where you've been...

i just prefer to keep quiet...

...i'm loving my silence...

...and i think im doing it right so far...

...things are not as simple as they may seem...

...for what i knoe, and what you prefers me to knoe, im okay with it...

this is for whatever reason...

IM SORRY IM NOT PERFECT...

..and soas them... and so as you...
...i am not a saint...
...i am considerate and i could understand everything. i could always try to absorb all the glitches but sometimes, i also need an explanation why this and that happens... don't let me be passive with everything because i might burst out and i hate it... i am getting overloaded.. and lately, i've been having my temporary insanity attack. owmen!

tsk tsk... bad baby*

here's the doctor's prescription:

1. explanation of truth.
2. conversation
3. honesty
4. let me knoe what's happening
5. don't put all the blame on me

..and i'll be alright.

that someone will always be you ^.^

This is for someone whom I care a lot for…
This is for someone who knows how to make me cry…
This is for someone who puts light in my life…
This is for someone who gives me strength to fight on the battle…
This is for someone who knows how to make me smile…
This is for someone who brings laughter and joy to me…
This is for someone who could make me laugh the entire day…
This is for someone who always reminds me to have my car fixed…
This is for someone whom I love to see before I close my eyes to sleep…
This is for someone who patiently wakes me up as the morning knocks…
This is for someone who smiles at me when I open my eyes first thing in the morning…
This is for someone who picks me up from my house to go to work every morning…
This is for someone who surprises me with a ride going home from a long day of work…
This is for someone who tells me,”you’re worth the risk…”
This is for someone who makes fun of me and himself as well…
This is for someone who says”you and I, that’s linked together”…
This is for someone who gives me confidence when I’m about to lose face…
This is for someone whom I thought was just a far fetched dream…
This is for someone who says “you know that I can’t afford to just look at you from afar and say nothing at all”…
This is for someone whom I never thought I’d fall so madly in love with…
This is for someone who let me eat a whole lot that made me fat…
This is for someone who teases me all the time…
This is for someone I couldn’t imagine my tomorrow without…
This is for someone who’s been one of the biggest considerations on all my decisions…
This is for someone who says beautiful things about me…
This is for someone who makes me melt when he looks into my eyes…
This is for someone who’s the other half of my life…
This is for someone who crashes my heart when he holds my hand…
This is for someone who gives me joyous memories…
This is for someone who gets mad when someone thinks badly about me…
This is for someone who gives me the sweetest lies…
This is for someone who’s damn imperfect but I learned to love perfectly…
This is for someone whom I am growing with…
This is for someone whom I’ll always find reasons to love him and forget all the uncertainties…
This is for someone whom I always miss…
This is for someone who I always share my dreams with…
This is for someone who’s always the reason why I’d wake up or stay awake during unholy hours just to cook food for him…
This is for someone I’d love to grow old with…
This is for someone who’s been my sweetest misery…
This is for someone who’s always to the rescue when my car breaks…
This is for someone who’s facing all odds to keep me in his life…
This is for someone I’d never want to say goodbye to…
This is for someone whom I’d dedicate everything to…
This is for someone who said I was INSENSITIVE when in fact it was him…
This is for someone who thinks always what is good for me…
This is for someone who wants me to think he’s manly by not showing too much emotion when in fact I know when he’s really not…
This is for someone who gives me hope when it’s gone…
This is for someone who I share my adventures…
This is for someone who I share my misadventures…
This is for someone who’s like a yellow sun shining directly to put a glow in my heart…
This is for someone who keeps on breaking and fixing my heart…
This is for someone who gives me all the reasons to make me fall in love with him over and over again…
This is for someone who I patiently wait until everything’s okay again…
This is for someone who has been a part of my everyday life for the past 11months…
This is for someone who has seen me at my worst…
This is for someone who satisfies my cravings in the middle of the night…
This is for someone whom I can live without but living with him is all I want…
This is for someone who’s been my determination to go to work…
This is for someone who never gets tired of my childish temporary insanity attacks…
This is for someone who stands with me through thick and thin…
This is for someone who eats everything and anything I cook for him…
This is for someone who never yelled at me--- ever…
This is for someone who said “I’m breaking inside when you cry”…
This is for someone who prefers to let me know the hurtful truth than make me believe in sweet lies…
This is for someone who let me into his life…
This is for someone whom I let into my life…
This is for someone I always pray to God…
This is for someone whom I wished for from a falling star…
This is for someone who taught me a lot of things in life and love…
This is for someone who gives me the sweetest goodnight kiss…
This is for someone who made me a better person…
This is for someone who believes in what I can and can’t do…
This is for someone who would always stand behind me and put his arms around my waist and his chin on my shoulder…
This is for someone who plays with my hair when it’s worn up…
This is for someone who I always share my food with…
This is for someone who gets bloated and still would love to eat out with me…

This is for someone…
Someone I know I couldn’t call completely mine…
…but someone whom I never had thought of regretting the day I met him and made him a part of me and I as part of him…
THIS IS FOR SOMEONE WHOM I ALWAYS FIND MORE THAN A MILLION WAYS WHY I LOVE HIM THAN WHAT I SHOULD HATE ABOUT HIM MORE AND MORE EACH DAY…

it's not as shallow as it seems baby*

The past months, weeks and days have been chaotic for me. i've been struggling for a lot of things. to achieve my goals and my happiness. Ahuh i am happy. but sometimes happiness doesn't really mean "i'm fine". so- so....

I am in the middle of contentment and confusion.
I am in deep ecstasy whenever so- so...
I am happy.
I am confused.
I am contented but i knoe there should be a lot more.

"LESS TALK LESS MISTAKE" -- that was when i learned to love my silence.
yeah, it is so deym true but not because you won't hear me bragging about some- things all the time, it means i'd LIE if someone asks me direct to my face...

YOU can tell me to keep my silence and everything i knoe to myself but YOU can never teach me to lie. that's not ME.

Think about this: of all the things i knoe that makes me feel overloaded and uneasy all the time, do you think i am not needing a way to release all the things that makes me feel absurd? Think again…

When I thought I am the one who’s insensitive, and when I thought I could handle and play your kind of game oh so well, guess what baby? I failed.

I knoe very well how you could lie in my face, and in theirs. I knoe very well when you tell me sh*tty stuff and I knoe very well how much could you do to make me, us, or them believe you.

I’ve never been a foe. Bet you knoe that. I’ve been with you on this theatre of war for almost a year now. When everybody thought I exist no more, you chose to make me stay. Why?

I have been searching for a valid answer to compensate all the uncertainties you brought me. I failed. Everybody knoes that. I don’t consider it as my losing phase though but I knoe if only I’d be firm when I say this and that, come what may, I’d get the answer I’ve been aiming to have. Right? Of course, you’d say no.

FRIENDSTER, MULTIPLY, MYSPACE!
Oh what’s soooo wrong about them? Hahahaha… I knoe but prefers to act as if I don’t. I can’t do this, can’t do that. Why? For security and privacy purposes?! Alright, I won’t then. But why can’t the same “rule” is applied for all of us? Am I the only one who’s submissive when it comes to privacy?! Of course not and I knoe that. It’s as simple as they “can…” and I “can’t.” difference?! Obviously because… that’s it! It explains everything.

Whenever I try to speak, whenever I try to say something and voice out when the situation’s getting chaotic again and “we”-re at stake, you’d tell me to TRUST you. You’d try to make me believe that “the situation is not as WEAK as it could be”. Okay, I believe you now. And when I’m gone, you’ll make a way to make me coming back to you. ahuh. You wouldn’t admit it of course, but you see, I am not as INSENSITIVE and dense as I seem to be.

Now, let me tell you this, not because I could be dormant and “seem to be dense” it means that I don’t knoe everything. I am letting you handle the situation and stick on your script because I knoe everything will be better in time.

TRUST you again? It has never been gone. You pretty well knoe that. ^.^

I could let you play the game. I knoe you could play it, it could be right for you but it can never be played perfect, you knoe that for sure. However, I will let you direct everything just let me knoe when I’m getting overexposed.

They say you wouldn’t want to lose me. I don’t knoe if I’ll laugh or cry or get pissed. What am I supposed to feel?

When we’re together, everything seems to be oh so perfect. But if you’ll look in a bigger picture, there comes the uncertainties and the reasons why “we” can never be perfectly happy and why we can’t be free!

This makes no sense. I don’t care.
I just couldn’t care. I need not to care.

I am happy. I am contented. I am in love. I am trying to absorb and still accepting everything.

I KNOW I'LL SEE YOU THERE... ^.^

Goodbye has never been a happy word. As the song goes, “tell me where’s the good in goodbye”… yeah tell me now…

I only bid goodbye ONCE. For the longest time, it has been my dictum, but then, all of a sudden, everything changed. Now, I can’t utter it even can’t afford to hear it. As if I’m deaf from hearing that word. It’s now an outlawed declaration for me.

I’ve said goodbye many times before to different personas to different façades. It has been easy. No sleepless nights, no guilt feelings, no worries, no negativity at all…

For some reasons, now, goodbye is no longer in my vocabulary. I am like a 5 year old kid, begging my mommy not to go to work or else, I threat her I’ll cry until she comes home. Of course, my mommy won’t afford to leave me in tears, so she’ll leave me with a promise to come home before the night falls.

But I am no longer a kid. I am no longer my mommy’s little darling. I was nourished to be a better person and a young lady. I am a blooming woman who’s trying to win lots of confidence and pride.

For a confused heart, tell me now, where would I get my pride and confidence if I keep on saying goodbye yet after few days, I’d forgive and forget as if nothing happened? Tell me where could I get my courage to smile and persevere for a joyous tomorrow?!

I know my heart isn’t broken, because I know, in this chaotic blues and all the uncertainties along the journey, I know, my heart is happy. It is not alone. I have someone I could spend my days and nights with and I have someone I couldn’t call all mine, but at least, someone’s making it perfectly happy…

Make me believe I am doing the right thing. Make me believe all of these that are happening are not lies. Make me believe if tomorrow is not perfectly okay; the day after tomorrow will be the best, will be mine. I’ll always believe, everything will be fine and there’s a better solitude waiting to be uncovered.

For the longest time, I have been nomadic in the cold dark toll road feeling alone and helpless, but somehow, I gathered again my strength, courage and love that once was drawn. I managed to go all thru this. Crazy as it sounds I know. But I know and I believe, the rainbow has long been drawn before time and I just need to wait for the right time to see it right before my eyes… ^.^

I'M LOOKING ON THE BRIGHTSIDE OF LIFE =)

planner planner planner... awwwww* =(

okay... blurbing. =)

for few weeks, i haven't opened this... hmmmm... at bakit kaya?! busy?! d din... walang dvd marathon ang ginawa ko. to the point na pati AMERICAN PIE 5 [naked mile] eh iniyakan ko na yata! hahaha =) isa pang bakit?! hahaha sikretong malupit! walang clue! togoinqs!!!

aside from dvd marathon, last week has been an "oh so happy week" or masasabi kong happy rest day nalng?! hehehe... ang daming trip. kahit may mga konteng aberya and delays, okay na din! nag enjoy naman kame!!! w.o.w!!!

and today, eto, matutulog muna ako... pahi pahinga ng konte. hehehe...

owel.. aun lang... =D

just checking my blogsite...

later, baka sipagin ako, maguupdate ako ng mga blogsites ko...

wala nang magawa, wala na kasi sa kin ang MAHIWAGANG PLANNER ko... kaya aun, wala na kong masulatan... pwde kaya dito nalng??? hahahaha... patay tyo jan! mega ultimate world war 3. at syempre, may magttnong "bakit?!"--- the magic forbidden power question... hehehe...

i miss my planner... awwww***

=(

kung nasaan man ung planner ko ngyon:
---sana hnd ka nia pinapabayaan at iniingatan ka nia... hahaha... owel.
...maling wrong move?! togoinqs!!!

later! magbblurb ako... este blog pla! hihi ^.^


nga pla, pahabol:

---sa friends ko sa friendster na dating 751, ngyon 139 nlng dahil sa "temporary maintenance" kuno. at sa love exclusive, 28 nlng yata... so sa mga nawala, pki add nlng po again... thanksnesseses!!!

at! ang bgong number ko..... ooops! pki message or ym nlng ung mga numbers nio, kasi naman, weakling si mawer mown ko!!! aun, ncra ung lcd kaya mega hi-tech ng fown na gamit ko ngyon!!! hehehe.... tsk tsk....


//lovebibit*

i love you mom....

When you were 8 years

old, your mom handed you an ice

cream. You thanked her by dripping it

all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for

piano lessons. You thanked her by

never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove

you all day, from soccer to football

to one birthday party after another.

You thanked her by jumping out of the

car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took

you and your friends to the movies.

You thanked her by asking to sit in a

different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned

you not to watch certain TV shows. You

thanked her by waiting until she left

the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a

haircut that was becoming. You thanked

her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month

away at summer camp. You thanked her by

forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from

work, looking for a hug. You thanked

her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how

to drive her car. You thanked her by

taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting

an important call. You thanked her by

being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your

high school graduation . You thanked

her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for your

college tuition, drove you to campus

carried your bags. You thanked her by

saying good-bye outside the dorm so you

wouldn't be embarrassed in front of

your friends.

When you were 25, she helped to pay

for your wedding, and she cried and

told you how deeply she loved you. You

thanked her by moving halfway across

the country.

When you were 50, she fell ill and

needed you to take care of her. You

thanked her by reading about the

burden parents become to their

children.

...And then, one day, she quietly

died.

And everything you never did came

crashing down like thunder on YOUR

HEART.. &

If you love your MOM & you thank her

deeply...


THANKS MOM!!! =)

oo ikaw yun! para seo toh... tsk tsk

Schizophrenic --- defined as a person with split personality.
(skit-zo-fre-nik)

Many people posses this kind of personality. They’re definitely way too different than what they seemed to be crowd per crowd.

What is the root cause of this? I honestly don’t knoe. I don’t have any background in psychology. I wish I have tho. But per my opinion, this may have been caused by depression? OBSSESION? Or it may really just been a mental sickness a person possesed since birth?! Owmen. I don’t really knoe… honestly. But whatever it is, I pity those person who posses this kind of personality. huh. just to add, it sometimes leads to SUICIDE!!! togoinqs!!!

deym!

ALONZO WINS, KIMI LOSE.... [S'PORE GRANDPRIX] 28SEPTEMBER2008

owel... kimi lose... fine fine....

but....
deym!!!!

at first, kimi was doing so good,. [65 laps kimi... you're the man!]

1st massa
2nd hamilton
3rd RAIKKONEN

good job...

it was a close race... naging pang 12th man sya he was able to overtake nakijama who's @ 10th place by then and it made him @ the 9th place...

i can narrate every detail of it but it will make this sobrang haba...

raikkonen was able to make it at the 3d place pero nag pit stop sya and it made him @ 5th place... to make the story short, @ the last 4 laps, nagcrash si kimi so he was OUT!!! deym! and so is the FERRARI TEAM....

c'mon.... =( sad.

demmet!!! buti pla hindi ako nakipag pustahan... tsk tsk...


---owel... whatever happens, KIMI RAIKKONEN'S still the BEST!!!

would you tell me?

Tell me if this is real. Tell me if my fantasy came true. Tell me if my wish was granted. Tell me now or I’ll just forever trance about you… everything is just so perfect. When I am with you, nothing can be more special. What I feel is out of ordinary. My
Pessimism vanishes and my tears turn into gold. You are my light, my friend, and my feet that walk me through the flap. I feel safe whenever you’re around. Your words always remain in my heart and I’ll never let us fall apart. This is something more than special. This is something I want to last.

You are the melody in my song. For you I’ll let everything happen for no reason at all. Because all the answers to my why’s is nothing but you. I am not a poet, neither Shakespeare’s daughter. I may not be able to put all in words but my love for you has grown into a wonderful world.

I am nobody’s princess and for me you are the princess less prince. You are the knight that’s roofed behind that shining armor I see in the dark and eerie night. You came into my life with nothing but sword and you’ve done so much to protect me from harm and painful acts done by anyone.

You’ve put right my conked out heart. I was nourished and cared for with all your might. I know in words you won’t never let me know what your plans are, but through your actions, believe me, I am flattered how well you’ve worked. I am impressed on how you handled all the glitch. I am pleased on how you’ve shown me how you cared. When things goes wrong and sets out the way it shouldn’t be or would practically might hurt me, I can see the worry sent out through your eyes…

Tell me this is for real. Tell me you won’t again disappear. Tell me I am yours and let me call you mine. Tell me baby, what about us? Tell me I now if I can have you. Tell me there’ll be tomorrow. Tell me we’ll be watching the sun together until dusk. Tell me, oh baby please tell me. You’re the only answer I’d love to have.


Signed
Love Bibit
09026008

*let's dance until forever*

I won’t miss you if missing you means I won’t see you again
I’m not going to long for your hugs if longing for it means I won’t feel your warmth
I will never let you kiss me if it’s going to be the goodbye kiss I never want to feel…

What you’ve been to me is far beyond compare
What we’ve shared is something I’m not going to spare
You’re my friend, you’re my man, and you’re someone I will never left behind…

Everything has to happen and I thought we’ll had our end
So glad how you gave me the reason to save it
Happy I am for you never let it be wasted…

For all your efforts I thank you so much
For all the love and your care, oh I love it so much
For what I am and what I’ve been is all because of you…

You’re the only man who exactly knows how to make and break me…

And I oh so love you… (^-*)

HEADLINE

one liners:

"NO ATTACHMENT INVOLVED"

"THIS MUST BE LOVE!" --- eto ang championship na tumaob sa linya ni miss malayao na when it hurts, its real!!!

pero eto ang panalo na kowtabol kowt ko for the week na bumenta sa sinster sissy ko:

"I ENVY THE WILLPOWER OF ANOREXICS!!!"
---harharhar... oo nga sis! motto itoh ng mga baboi! hahaha... now i knoe why... hehehe... d bale nang mga baboi tyo [boinka ka nga dba!] - at least, HIYANGERS... hnd napapabayaan... wahaha!!!

i missed hanging out with you sissy... ;)

howel mga mapapapel!!!

------------------
I JUST GOT HIRED!!!
love bibit - assist coach [philippine figure skating]
- huwaw!!! one of my dreams since i was 17. hahaha!!! last week, tuesday, i was supposed to meet kate and go to bureau of immigration. we met, but we weren't able to go there. instead, we went to alabang. 1 of the reasons is i received a text message from ms. claire of isi southmall [my homerink], stating that my longtime application as assist coach for skating was CONSIDERED!!! yehey!!!! [*bow* ('.^)]

yesterday, saturday, was my 1st day being an assist coach, i already got 9 students in 2 days --not bad. since i am not spending my entire day @ the rink. men! the ice princess is back... =)

on our way to southmall last tuesday, my pop text me, giving me all his support. when everybody knows how passionate i am with my figure skating.

oh how im loving everything!!!

God's so good to me... i have my family, i have my job [2 jobs @ the same time, like before when we used to teach in a korean tutorial center as tutors for english], i have my friends, and i have my love... =)

what else can i ask for?! =)

yes, im really LUCKY!!! --- you're right!

WORDS WON'T LET ME DOWN

Everytime I'm feeling good about everything, something comes up and makes me feel awful... Being okay with everything is not really fine with me. Understanding everything is really not that a good idea but sometimes we need to bend the law for the good of everyone. Nobody has the authority to control me. I am an individual and I know when enough must be ENOUGH. It's as easy as ABC to be understood. I've never been dependent to someone ---except to my parents. I am an INDEPENDENT WOMAN and i know my worth.

in short...
I AM NOT LIKE THOSE OTHER PATHETIC WOMAN WHO DEPENDS ON OTHER PEOPLE FOR EVERYTHING. PUTS ASIDE THEIR PRIDE AND SELF RESPECT TO LIVE AND SURVIVE.

i know how to live my life and i know how to live it right.
i know what to believe.
i know what to do.
i know whom to listen to and i know how to understand...

i am mean but only if i have to...


YOU'RE MAKING ME LAUGH TOO HARD.

*unsolicited advice*

"Education doesn't have anything to do with LOVE"

we go to school to: learn, have a diploma and gain knowledge...

people fall in love-- it's human nature. Even the most intelligent being becomes stupid because of LOVE. right?! so don't make me LAUGH HARD to tell me that when you're well educated it means that you don't have the right to fall in love and be stupid and crazy in love...

EDUCATION is something associated with our brain.
LOVE is associated with heart. (BIG smile for you *wink* ;D)

but let me voice this out: an EDUCATED person knows his/her limit... an educated person won't demean him/herself for a pathetic and petty situation. The way a person presents him/herself in front of others isn't enough to know if he/she's educated. once a person reacts and speaks, that'll be the time when you'll know if he/she's educated. =) [somehow it makes sense =)] ---learn from it!

once, sometime in June, somebody that's so close to me said: "you can never blame a person if he/she falls in love" --- so true.

FALLING IN LOVE IS NEVER BY CHOICE.
we cannot choose whom to fall in love with. it is by chance.

FALLING OUT OF LOVE IS NEVER BY CHANCE.
we fall out of love by choice. when it's being too much, we always have the option of falling out of love and letting go. it's OUR OWN CHOICE.

LOVE is patient. it is kind. it is not jealous and love doesn't lie. =)

sometimes, it is hard to differentiate LOVE from LIKE from PITY. come to think of it?!

LOVE is never DEMANDING.

"what you don't know can't hurt you" --- my unsolicited advice *wink* (*.^)

►VIRGO - THE BEST SEXUAL PARTNER (8/23-9/22) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it.Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.

i'll be your baby tonight

what im hating lately is i can't put an entry on my own blog 'bout whatever i want. feels like i don't have my freedom. darn. it's not okay but since i am such an obedient little baby princess, fine. i have to obey by the law. hahaha...

the day isn't over yet. it's just 4:15pm and i am in my room alone with my dear sofia. ;)

i didn't get enough sleep last night. now im so sleepy and earlier @ work i was so pre occupied taking care of things that needs to be done. making follow ups. going back and forth to h.r dept, going to tl and all... but i managed to sneak a little nap when it was petix time ;)

after werk, i went to festival mall to meet my sinster sissy dbyne and bok jaytot. before meeting them, i dropped by @ puma to check on the ferrari jacket that im oh so lovin' to buy. it's gone. darn.but i can't forget how funny and heart warming at the same time that the staff @ puma arleady recognizes me by face because we keep on checking what are the new ferrari stuff that has just arrived every now and then and because of the ferrari stuff i bought last month that i was so excited when we bought it they even asked me how was it... the staff were all greeting at me as i walked into the store. they even asked me why i am alone today and told me that they have my number and they'll text me if in case new jackets arrived.

from puma, i went to bench, where my sissy and bok were. we went to seattle's best to bum and have a little fun... oh how i miss my oh so lovin' bok and sissy. ;)

from festival mall, i went home. tired. and now, here i am blurbing----oooops. i mean blogging for the nth time. ;-)

good laugh and adventure

“I won’t aim to just have the last laugh… I’d aim for the hardest laugh for the funniest reason” =) ----kowtabol kowt of the day from Kristine! Haha!!!


-----SEVEN 2se7n pm. Just got home from a friend’s place… it has been a long off for me. Got a lot of adventures with a girl friend yesterday. Around 10 in the morning of 13Aug08, we left our friend’s house and went to q.c, from q.c, we went to MR. KABAB [mmmmm….soooooo yummy!!!] to have our lunch. Create piggy baby na naman kme as always… we left my ever favorite place to dine @ around 1:30pm then we went somewhere near manila hotel to do some stuff [the main purpose of our itin]. From there we then went to bureau of immigration then we went to carriedo!!! Hahahaha… we roam around and visit some places to look for cheap shots…. Before going home, to our friend’s house, we went to Jollibee to have our planned surprise dinner for our 3 little alagas… harhar… @ the guard house, we asked the guard to have the food we bought delivered to our friend’s house to surprise them… hahaha… the surprise Jollibee dinner was so much fun and I guess everybody enjoyed it!!! --- Then we’re all puffy!!! After having our dinner, me and 2 of my girl friends went inside the room for some gossips… hahaha… you knoe, some girly stuff while others were @ the living room playing and having fun their own stuff. After the little chika chika with my girl friends, I then went out the house and other friends were there, they taught me how to ride the “motor!!!” weeeeee!!!! Finally—I learned! Yehey!!!! =) I’m a fast learner you knoe… hahaha!!! I was amazed. So after learning, me and my friend stroll around the subdivision until we all got tired and went home to sleep. Hihi*

Yeah, eating has been our bestfriend--- ever! Men! When I woke up this morning, one of our friends cooked “noodles” for bfast! Oh, yeah, it was really a surprise!!! And I was so happy eating my bfast! It was yummy and not just because it was yummy, also, I appreciate the effort. Hehehe… thank you =)
Just like about 2hrs after having our bfast, some other friends dropped by the house then we went out to eat SILOG! He… he… he… yes! We had SILOG for lunch. ---then again… POOF! We’re stuffed. Then we went home, we slept and woke up @ around SE7EN. Harhar. So I went home.

When I got home, mom was there. Then I had my dinner and make chika chika with mom. Hehehe…

Ohhh…. What a sooooo long rest day for me. Tomorrow, I’ll be back to werk. Harhar.

FOOLISHNESS* [tagged with the word pathetic] ;-)

Funny how the world goes on… everything and everyone’s getting crazy and I can’t help but laugh my heart out… People are making fool out of themselves… making everything turn out to be just right when it’s actually not. PRETENDERS. Oh yes! What a great pretender… If only these people can see themselves on the mirror… owmen! Sick.

None of my business I knoe… but, come on. Who won’t laugh when people are trying to convince themselves and embrace stupidity?! Harharhar. Owel. Kamon mamon.

"do you enjoi watching this really great show? so entertaining... right?! do you agree, do you agree?!?!?! hihihi*" ---oh how i'm loving it!

REVEALED!!!

Another day for me.
Another crazy day.
Another chaotic day…
Chaotic that’s so much fun!!!

Since 12mn I am smiling and laughing and smiling and laughing. Happy?!!! Ahuh ahuh…. Huway??? Tsk tsk… ;-D

Sometimes, I need to behave myself and shhhhhh. Shut up.

COMMITMENT (created 03august2008)

I miss reading books. Before I went to work today, I grabbed the book my sister Dbyne lend me, and I’m planning to buy the same book to add in my little library--- YOUNGBLOOD. There’s this one short article in the book that we keep on reading. Very nice and sensible…. I would like to share this, it exactly describes ME?! Hahaha…. Owel, that’s what they say… I personally strongly agree…

This is entitled COMMITMENT by Lotis B. Soriano. Let me quote her on some lines written in the article…

“I want us to go on living the way we used to before we came into each other’s life. I don’t want a relationship that is limited by dos and don’ts. I don’t need someone to look after me or tell me what is right and wrong. I am old enough and I know those things. I want to share my life with somebody, not give it to him.”

--- The last part of this is sooooo me. If you’re in a relationship, remember that you can never give your life to that person. As what I always say, it’s way too impossible to happen. And don’t expect your partner to do the same.

“Now, I have realized that commitment is necessary in a relationship. It is not because it will give me the right or the authority to tell a person what I want to happen. It is because commitment makes me feel certain that whatever we share is going to lead us somewhere. It’s a nice feeling to enjoy being with somebody not because of who or what he is but because you can’t think of yourself in another place with another person. But a relationship goes deeper than that. And that is where commitment comes in.”

---Exactly. Not because he or she’s your boyfriend or girlfriend, it means that you have the right to dictate what or what’s not to do. That’s absurd. Everything must come naturally and not because that is how you want it to be.

“I may be wrong, but I firmly believe that love shouldn’t b limiting. It must allow the person involved to be who they are and to go on with their lives. One only needs to change if it is his/her choice. Nobody must assume a personality that is not his/her just because it is what the other wants him/her to be. If this happens, one must tell his love one to start looking for that person”

---See, everything I used to tell you guys are here. Now, do you agree with me?! Sabi nga ni Van, “ayoko maging tuko na laging kumakapit, may sarili kaming buhay.” --- thanks Van. ;-) and to add on that, it’s sooooo unhealthy. You need to pull each other up not go with the flow nor let your partner fall down just because you’re feeling down. Darn.

“I have learned not to expect anything from my partner, I realized that too many expectations will only lead to many disappointments since we don’t have the same frame of mind. I respect him and I am aware that he is a different person. I’ll continue giving as long as I can, but when I don’t feel like doing it anymore, I’ll stop. Love is not something one asks for. It is something freely given. Enough of the ideal man or woman. No matter how hard we look, we will never find him/her.”

---We can actually be sometimes idealistic--- I know I am, thus, never forget to be realistic. Learn to have the balance of both.

Sometimes, we are blinded with lies and false hopes. Been there done that--- a very looong time ago. But now, I am a fool no more. ;-) As what my Twinie’s message to me goes: what would you choose? A relationship that lasts but full of selfishness and lies or a relationship that didn’t last because of just about truth? Think about it…

I am full of love and being loved sooo much. I don’t need to elaborate that but as what I always say and how the song goes: I WANT THE TRUTH TO BE MINE.

The sentiments of this entry is for my sissies, Dbyne and Debz. Harharhar…. Remember those days?! ;-) Imissyou sissies….